Can i not drive my cunt home
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
