Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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