Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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