This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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