he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
