sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
