Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
thus making me awesome and them whores
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
