Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
