she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
