One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
