Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
