honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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