she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
