I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize