Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
