idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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