I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
