spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize