Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
