i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
