Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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