yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Randomize
