What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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