It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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