why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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