Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize