I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
