my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
