haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
