You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
