he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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