the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
