youre lurking in front of me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
