What did we do last night that was yellow?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
