I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
