She announced her abortion via fbk
i will never coherently bang her
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I stole a fireplace last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
