I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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