He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
