great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
