great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Couch. On fire.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
