Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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