I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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