All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
