Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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