this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize