i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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