Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
