Her vagina should come with caution tape.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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