I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
