I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
