Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You have to summon your inner elephant
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
