question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
