I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
