I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize