Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize