Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
