My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize