is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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