he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
