walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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