I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize