soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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