Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
