Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
