why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
