CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
