Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's just like the Real World with babies
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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