I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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