i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
