i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
