it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
